We exhaust ourselves in an endless search for solidity. We hunger for something that lasts, some idea or principle that rises above time and change… We suffer because of our heartache for certainty.
—Adam Frank
You remind me of a poem I can’t remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I’m not sure I’ve ever been to.
—Abraham Simpson, The Simpsons
I’m Not sure if it’s funny anymore
I’ve always had a bad memory. Well, not always. Since 2009 or so my memory has been on the decline (I should mention that I’m a few days away from turning only 23). Part of it, I think, was because I was on a weird medication, but even after I stopped, my memory didn’t seem to catch up.
Last night, I had yet another embarrassing moment with a friend.
ME: I almost got bitten by a baby rattlesnake this weekend!
HIM: Really?
ME: Yeah. And did you know that baby rattlesnakes are actually more dangerous than—
HIM: —yes, they’re more dangerous than adults because they can’t control the amount of venom— you told me this.
The sad thing isn’t even that I couldn’t remember having told him this already (that in itself is a pretty regular occurrence). No, the sad thing was that I couldn’t even remember having known this factoid. Jeez.
The last time I saw my doctor, she suggested— if my memory problem was really bothering me— that I could see a neuropsychologist who would administer special tests to see exactly what type of memory was so bad and how I might be able to improve it. Giving this some more consideration…
I promised myself that I would never let this happen.
(Source: bestofpostsecret)
zombiepageant.tumblr.com
I was lucky enough to hear the renowned poet Molly Peacock read last night. She read this poem and somehow, it struck at exactly the right moment, in the right state of mind and I almost cried. That has never happened to me before.
I think it’s great for two people to be together. That is a good number. I think, that to keep it alive though, you can’t spend every day together. It wears out the magic, Love means nothing to me if it’s not fortified with fierce, painful longing, brief explosive instances of furious passion and intimacy and then a sad parting for a time. In that way, you can give your life to it and still have a life of your own. I think some couples spend too much time together. They flatten out the potential for experience by constant closeness. Passion builds over time like steam. Let it rage until it’s exhausted and then leave it alone to let it build up again. Why can’t love be insane and distorted? How can it be vital if it has the same threshold as normal day-to-day experience?
Why can’t you write burning letters and let your nocturnal self smolder with desire for one who is not there? Why not let the days before you see her be excruciating and ferment in your mind so on the day you go to the airport to pick her up, you’re nearly sick with anticipation? And then when desire shows the first sign of contentment, throw it back it its cage and let it slowly build itself back into a state of starved fury. Then when you are together, it all matters. So that when you look into her eyes, you lose your balance, so that when she touches you, it feels like you have never been touched before. When she says your name, you think it was she who named you. When she has gone, you bury your face in the pillow to smell her hair and you lie awake at night remembering your face in her neck, her breathing and the amazing smell of her skin. Your eyes go wet because you want her so bad and miss her so much. Now that is worth the miles and the time. That matches the inferno of life. Otherwise you poison each other with your presence day after day as you drag each other through the inevitable mundane aspects of your lives. That is the slow death that I see slapped on faces everywhere I go. It’s part of the world’s sadness that’s more empty than cold, poorly lit rooms in cities of the American night.
—Henry Rollins (via prozacrock)
I feel silly for reposting this, but I feel exactly the same way.
(via killakel)
The Secret in Their Eyes: “Nunca puedes cambiar tu pasión”
(Source: twistedtwizzledancer)
